Alright, great. The rest of you have been warned.
First up, is a book (If I Built A Car) that has become a staple in our house, and for good reason. The main character Jack is an imaginative, pioneering badass who is way ahead of his time. Jack won't just settle for the mediocrity of his suburban existence. He has plans. Big plans.
Pimp My Ride has nothing on the kinds of next level innovative shit that Jack has added. Complete with a couch, fireplace,snack bar, butler robot, and Jacuzzi tub his car is sure to perform at optimal swagger levels. It could be argued that the snack service (squeeze cheese) could use a little fine tuning, but to each their own.
The car also doubles as a boat, submarine, and rocket. Considering our last minivan, which had ONE fucking job, ON LAND, couldn't even manage that half the time, this is a pretty impressive feat. I know what some of you are thinking: Jack is a spoiled little asshat who needs to shut his pie hole about his parents' lackluster existence and piece of shit car and just be glad he's not walking. And, initially I'd be inclined to agree with you. But this book's message transcends that one ungrateful asshat. It teaches us to dream. To reach for the mother fucking stars and never settle. At the very least, it might give you some ideas for your own car.
Frankly, I'd just be happy with one of those divider windows they have in limos, with the sound-proof glass. That way I can drown out the sounds of my own asshole kids complaining about our mediocre existence too.