Misadventures of a 20-Something Mom: So your kid sleeps through the night, knows baby sign language, and wears cloth diapers that you stiched all by yourself; what do you want, a freaking cookie?!   

Monday, March 26, 2012

So your kid sleeps through the night, knows baby sign language, and wears cloth diapers that you stiched all by yourself; what do you want, a freaking cookie?!

Candidly, I have no issue with cloth diapering, baby sign language, or awesome babies who have slept through the night since birth. I WISH I was that mom. I wish I had all this crap figured out and could easily balance the trials of motherhood while single-handedly saving our planet's ecosystem and teaching my infant son how to use an abacus.

But the reality is, that's just not me. I am a big dreamer, and a perpetual under-achiever. This means I am far from the title of supermom..and maybe closer to Sub par Mom. Most of the time, I'm just trying to make it through the day. If my son is well-kempt, well-fed, and in a generally agreeable disposition by the end of the day I call it a success. My holy grail comes when I also manage to shower, comb my hair, and take a poop without interruption. Now THAT is something. You can see that this leaves little time for me to navigate a Baby Brezza manual (baby food maker) or accomplish the extra loads of laundry that cloth diapers necessitate. I am learning that motherhood is a juggling act and I am careful about what I try and add into the mix. Unfortunately, this means I don't quite add up to a lot of the other superhuman mommies out there. The following is a mini-list of my mommy grievances:

  1. I use disposable diapers. Loads of em'. They may have to start a new landfill just to contain all of my son's shitty diapers. I lack the motivation, and the stomach to even consider cloth diapering. I often wonder if those who choose to do so have baby's with dainty bowels. I'm pretty positive my son is part ogre and has epic diaper explosions to prove it. I don't care to keep those around as a souvenir.
  2. I don't make my own baby food, and..gulp...I don't even always buy organic. The stuff is crazy expensive and every organic garden I have tried to lovingly foster thus far, has died a slow, painful death far before it was time to harvest my fruits or veggies.
  3. I am not teaching my son baby sign language. I'd love to, I would. It's just soooo not happening right now. I guess I would have to first teach myself the basic signs, from a library book or something, and then try and get my husband and the baby to use those signs. I'm a little exhausted just thinking about it. Seriously, I found my car keys in the fridge this morning and I'm supposed to learn and teach an entirely new language? Ha!
  4. At eight months old, my son doesn't sleep through the night. I take responsibility for this as we have never had him on a set schedule, and have allowed him to sleep in our room or in our bed since his birth. I admit that I am completely spineless and lack the courage or willpower or whatever to let him "cry-it-out". Frankly, we'll just be glad if he makes it out of our room before college.
Really, the list could go on and on and on. I really don't know what the hell I'm doing most of the time. Fake it till' you make it, right? That is why, the majority of the time, I welcome advice. If you say waving a chicken feather over my baby's head while doing the macarena naked will get him to sleep all night, or making my own baby food is as easy as 1-2-3, I will probably try it. (If I haven't already). But oftentimes, it's just not a good fit for me and my family. So I leave the supermom dreamland and go back to our reality: Pampers, Pesticide-ridden Gerber food, and sleepless nights.


  1. I have to be loggged into my blog to comment on yours... way too complicated... lol...

  2. Amen to disposable diapers and Gerber baby food!!!!