Misadventures of a 20-Something Mom: Mom on Mom Violence: TIME to stop the insanity   

Friday, May 11, 2012

Mom on Mom Violence: TIME to stop the insanity

By now you probably know my views on the subject of extended breastfeeding ("Breast is Best, Unless your kid is over 6 months, then you're a f#$%ing deviant weirdo") but this cover is so much more than that. Conservatives are appalled for obvious reasons, Moms who didn't breastfeed or didn't extended breastfeed are pissed because of the obnoxious caption, and those practicing attachment parenting/extended breastfeeding aren't happy because it depicts them as fucking deviant weirdos. Time managed to piss off pretty much every sector of the population. Which means their sales are likely to skyrocket! Well played, well played.

This cover is Inflammatory. Absolutely Inflammatory. "Are you Mom enough" is probably the most divisive phrase imaginable. And that is exactly what it was supposed to do!  However, what will be left in this covers wake,  is just more mama drama!

There are so many hot-button issues that divide us as moms:
  • Formula vs. Breastfeeding
  • Length of time spent Breastfeeding
  • Co-sleeping vs Crib-training
  • Vaccinating vs. Non-vaccinating
  • The list goes on and on
But, Why? Research has proven that to succeed at parenting, you just have to be "good enough." Not awesome. Not spectacular. Not stupendous. Just "good enough." Most people, fall into that category.

Parenting is hard. Really hard. There is no single go-to manual with all the answers. We are all just kind of stumbling through, trying to figure out what is best for our kids. Why make this process more difficult by judging other people and how they choose to parent? We should be supporting one another, not tearing each other down. I'm so tired of the mom-on-mom violence that goes on because of differing parenting styles.

If that chick and her son want to keep breastfeeding until he has his own kids, that is their business. Who cares?! As long as it is not harmful, people should do what works for their families.

However, to suggest that other moms are "less than" for choosing to do otherwise, is at the very least in poor taste. I've said it before, I'll say it again, MIND YOUR OWN BOOBS.


  1. AMEN! I get harassed for nursing my 5 month old. But I also supplement with formula when I work, so I get a lot of flack from both sides. But it is what works for us and you are absolutely right people have taken this divide way to far and people need to see that either way is okay. I can only hope my daughter will nurse that long. I feel it is a beautiful thing. But if she doesn't that is okay too. :)

  2. I nursed both my kids, the first till almost 18 months and the second to a year (she self weaned). I also supplemented the second with formula for times when I was working as I couldn't pump enough. I'm an older Mum (34, 38 at times of birth) and I did what I felt was right for us. Oh, and I'm British, living in America for past 10 years, so maybe that affects my decision too. Only ever got one nasty comment when nursing in public from a young guy with his wife who was feeding their baby from a bottle. He got told to mind his own business (but not that politely)! People should do what they feel and you are so right, we've got to stop bashing other mothers for their decisions. Young or older, we're all stumbling through motherhood trying to do what we feel is best. No one, and I really mean no one, ever gets it all right. The ones that think they do, well, IMHO, they are the real deviant weirdos.

  3. Preach! I'm currently nursing my 7 month old son with a goal of 1 year. However, if he decides to nurse longer, I'll go with it! I feel as mom's our job is harder than any man realizes and we should all support each other. What may work for one family, maybe not work for another, but that doesn't mean it's wrong!

  4. just curious if you read the entire article and/or the article ABOUT the article? the reason for the cover,what the photographer was aiming for....im thinking possibly not? it really is aggravating to read things like this post especially if the person going off is honest enough to say NOPE,i didnt read it and dont want to.the cover sucks. kind of along the lines of....dont judge a book by its cover ;) i highly reccomend everyone to read the article itself and the article behind the article prior to forming such a strong opinion. :)

    1. almost forgot! lol im currently nursing my 22m old :)when he is ready,he will wean.

  5. @ASqueakyFoot-
    I guess I'm a bit confused by your comment. Yes, I read the article. Regardless, of what they were going for, it didn't make attachment parenting (which I practice) or Dr. Sears (whom I <3) look very good. This blog post was meant to express my frustration with that and the continued attempts of the media to start "mommy wars." My son is approaching a year old and I do not plan on stopping breastfeeding until he indicates that he is done. I take no issue with extended breastfeeding. I DO think that there were probably a million other pictures that would have better showcased the beauty and amazing bond between mother and son while breastfeeding. I stand by the thought that the caption made a lot of moms feel like crap and that stinks. This style of parenting might be right for us...but its ok that it is not right for everyone.

  6. ok good :) so you read the reasoning behind the photographers choice and cover setup too?

  7. Thank you! My son wouldnt take to breastfeeding AT ALL so I had to pump and quickly dried up by one month. I despise the negative looks and snarky remarks i get from other women in the store as im buying my 11 week old formula. ESPECIALLY from women who don't have kids and think they know exactly what is and will be best. I have a constant stream of curse words aimed at them. Then I pop a formula-laden bottle in my babys mouth and give them a big "you just wait" smile. They'll find out eventually. Then they will eat that stupid look.