Misadventures of a 20-Something Mom: The "Mean Girls" Sequel: Just Join a "Mommy" Group   

Friday, June 22, 2012

The "Mean Girls" Sequel: Just Join a "Mommy" Group

Confession time: I am a mommy group drop-out.

Well technically, I didn't even drop out of all of them...
I was forcibly evicted from a few, bullied out of others, and awkwarded out of a couple more. There was even a group that I managed to get kicked out of before even attending a meeting! The "administrator" informed me that I was being removed due to nonattendance. (I had only signed up the week prior!)

 While laughable, this is still a bit of a low point in my life. Who gets kicked out of a VOLUNTARY social group for moms? No good-byes. No parting gift. No passing "go" or collecting $200. (Monopoly reference. Keep up!)

I guess I just don't make the cut. I've admitted that I'm no Martha Stewart. I try really hard to emulate that kind of woman. Seriously! I religiously stalk pinterest for ideas to steal. I craft. I bake. I money launder. I joke, I kid. See! That's my point. I'm no Martha. Maybe her amateurish, domestically-challenged eighth cousin or something. I don't fit the mommy mold.

I am the poster child for introversion. Always have been. When I'm in a big group, I tend to completely dissolve into the background. This in turn, leads people to believe that I am an elitist snob, who is too good to socialize. The alternative to my wallflower schtick involves me making a total ass out of myself by pretending to be outgoing and engaging. I suck at small talk. I make lame, sarcastic jokes that other moms don't "get". This doesn't end well either.


Perhaps more importantly than the aforementioned defects, I secretly twilight as a drama magnet. I never knew this about myself prior to joining a Mommy group. I thought I was a relatively open-minded, don't rock the boat kind of gal. I guess not! I have managed to piss off so many moms at this point that the mommy mafia may have put a bounty on my head.

Moms have been offended by my parenting practices, my vernacular, my personality, and of course, this blog.

And apparently, mommy group moms don't get offended like the rest of us. They. are. MEAN. Out for blood. Take no prisoners. Fueled by an ugly undercurrent of competition and desperate attempts to obtain and maintain "status," these bitches will BURN you.

Most of the real down and dirty thrashing happens online, via social networking sites like Facebook. Seemingly docile, amicable mommies grow balls of steel behind a computer screen. 
One crazed mom will tear you to bits until a sort of gang mentality happens.

Forget trying to defend yourself. There will be 20 replies about how ignorant you are, with links to supporting articles, before you ever press send. Whether it is consciously or subconsciously, the reality is that some of the women in these "supportive" groups habitually band together, single out others, and make them feel like dog poo.
I saw it happen to countless others, and I've had it happen to me.

It's the Mean Girls Sequel. The one 10 years later, when the girls are all grown up, have kids, and still can't squelch the urge to be predatory, hateful, little twat waffles.

I am both a 20-something and a softie. I don't have the stamina or the resilience to deal with that toxic mess now.  I left those antics in high-school.

For now, I suppose I will remain a mommy group drop out. I will desperately cling to the handful of amazing ladies that I did meet, and always be on the look-out for more women who can laugh at dumb jokes and choke down burnt souffle.


  1. OMG! Wow! I feel as though I could have written this EXACT blog post! I know exactly what you mean and have been kicked out of a similar group while being virtually "bullied" and treated like the geeky girl sitting all alone at lunch waiting for the head cheerleader to walk by and dump her lunch leftovers on my head. It was awful. I feel your pain! Maybe we can form our own Mommy group...

  2. I know it hasn't taken you this long to realize that the mean girl mentality in high school is no different than when they still haven't matured, are still underachievers, and still feel like putting someone down is the only way to make themselves feel better. You already know this and yet you are upset? Get the "Mean people suck" bumper sticker as a reminder. Then go look at your Tiny Son and then yourself in the mirror. You are a soft hearted and loving mother who can be a bit sensitive at times. You are also a raging mother bear when her cub is threatened so give yourself the credit you deserve. You are amazing and when others feel intimidated they do the only thing they can - try to bring you to their level. They can't ever do that. The fact that you think they can is between your ears. Awkward turtle? I think not. The room lights up when you enter. You are beautiful, smart and funny. Leave them to their small lives and live yours happily. : )

  3. I LOOOOVE this, you are my kind of mommy, basically, you are me! I have three boys, I am not married, but I am with the man of my dreams and have been and still plan to be. I don't have to work because of him but I live on pinterest. I like more things than I make, or shall I say I make 1.2% of things out of 100 things I like lol. I was actually the victum last night of being bullied by a bunch of moms. IT had me in tears they say some really mean things! At least our kids love us :)

  4. You could totally be my bloggy BFF!!! I too have been kicked out not because I am quiet but because I am the opposite. My sarcasm gets me into trouble all the time..At the kids school people rarely talk to me, only the cool ones do...We don't need them biotches, we have a blog- we are cooler anyway!!! I am a pinetrest stalker also!!! Momma Tara, noooooo don't let them get to you, never them them win!!!