Misadventures of a 20-Something Mom: Mommy Memoirs: What I Want to Remember About Breastfeeding My Son   

Friday, June 15, 2012

Mommy Memoirs: What I Want to Remember About Breastfeeding My Son


Weaning is a topic that seems to be coming up more and more these days. Apparently, everyone and their dog thinks they have a right to comment on my boobs. Seriously...there are some very judgemental poodles out there. (Insert laugh here.)

My son will be 11 months old this week, which means continued breastfeeding solidifies my status as a freak of nature in American society. I'm sure I catch more flack than the average bear, because of my giganto baby who looks like a pre-schooler. Regardless, I think this negativity and judgement is horse crap.

There is no magic date circled on my calendar. We will wean, when our family sees fit.

All this talk of weaning has got me thinking though. I know the day will come eventually. Probably sooner than later. I'm confident that, despite the ups and downs, the process will be much harder on me than on my adaptable, little son. So, I wanted to jot some things down about our breastfeeding relationship, to ensure that it doesn't all get lost in the abyss that is my post-pregnancy brain.

I'd be lying if I said this has been a walk in the park for us. (Remember this post?)
There have been a million times that I have wanted to throw in the proverbial towel. Nipple Shields, Clogged ducts, Botched Breast Biopsies, Repeated bouts of mastitis, Too much milk, Too little milk, Engorgement, Walking around with cabbage leaves sticking out of my bra, you name it! However, I think all the difficulties made the success we eventually achieved that much sweeter.

A little more Candor: A lot of times nursing has been, dare I say it, downright boring. This was especially the case in the beginning; when he latched on like a remora and didn't let go for 6 months. In those days, when marathon nursing sessions were typical, there were less "magical" moments and more dvr watching and Facebook status updating.

But like a lot of things, when nursing is good, it's really, really good.

I want to remember:

  • The initial frenzy of sucking...like a crazed, underfed piranha. And how it gradually dies down to give way to slow, steady breaths as he succumbs to sleep.
  • The almost comical positions he is able to contort himself into while still remaining latched on.
  • Catching a glimpse of his eyes, when he briefly peeps them open, to check that I'm still there.
  • Hearing his sweet, contented murmurs. He always sounds like he is trying to whisper sweet nothings to his dearest boobs. His first, and perhaps most adorable love affair.
  • Feeling his chubby little hand knead away like a kitten, or simply resting open palmed on my chest.
  • Tucking a feathery soft, blond, baby tendril back behind his tiny ear.
  • Feeling the weight of his heavy little head in the crook of my arm.
  • The tiny half smiles he shoots me, when his bloated little tummy is finally full.
  • Lastly, the shared (I think) feeling we have during some nursing sessions....that all is right with the world. Right with ourselves. Right with each other. Right with God and creation. Absolute oneness. Safety. Relaxation. Warmth. Tranquility. Happiness.                                 
                                              I think this is what they call unconditional love.

5 comments:

  1. I love hearing about people who have actually chosen to breastfeed. And not just for the first month or so. It really, truly makes me feel that desire even more so. I have just past my first trimester with my first baby, and breastfeeding is something I am really looking forward to. While my husband thinks it's "Icky!", I really feel like I have to work hard at sticking to my guns on this. And simply reading the things you want to remember made me all sappy, teary eyed. (Which it feels like anything cute that has to do with babies does that to me these days!) But, it is special. And it is a wonderful bond that you have with your son. And that is so cool! :)

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    1. What a lovely comment. Thank you and Congrats!!

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  2. LOVE this post!!!! made me laugh out loud at all of the wonderful memories that I have once had or will look forward to in the future!

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  3. That is a great list. I feel the same way.

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  4. Aw that's lovely. My list used to look like that. But you know weaning could be a long way off from 11 months? The natural age of child- led weaning us between four and seven years. My Little Lady is three years five months and still loves her Scrummy lol. Mind you there are far fewer feeds these days and she tends to combine them with a spot of acrobatics! They're not so relaxing these days and last about ten sucks at most. I will so miss it though when she decides it's time to wean

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