With a toddler and another baby on the way, I'm just not in the position to accept a job right now. Any job. Even the dream job.
So, I turned down the job of my dreams. And it sucked. It quite literally felt like a punch to the gut. I saw everything I had worked so hard for in college, my passions, my dreams, dissipate right before my eyes. And it made me sad.
Well, it made me sad for a little while at least. Until I came to the realization that I have a new dream job, and fortunately for me, I'm already employed there. The job description is vast and the hours and duties are seemingly endless. Associated titles are numerous as well. I have been known to go by "chief purchasing officer," "activities coordinator," "master toddler interpreter," "president of waste management," and "head housekeeper." However, my favorite title is simply "mom."
I've been a mom for two
I'm 26 years old and until embarrassingly recently I was under the impression that El Nino was a South American terrorist organization that deviously altered weather patterns. I'm perpetually mispronouncing things (still have to remind myself that carafe rhymes with giraffe), I'm scared of the dark, I rely on my gps to get me out of my own neighborhood, and I have even been known to mess up EasyMac. Ya. That's me in a nut shell. I'm a hot mess.
And yet, somehow, someway, I was still entrusted with the care of these tiny human beings. Most days, I haven't the faintest idea of what I'm doing. I feel as though I am simply fumbling my way through this parenting business. Living, learning, and desperately trying to keep my kid(s) out of the emergency room. And today I realized, that this is my new DREAM JOB. Motherhood.
The place where sloppy kisses and toothy smiles abound. A place where there is never a shortage of tiny arms reaching upward to be held. Where baby blue eyes plead for one more story before bed and fuzzy, blond heads just beg to be kissed each night as we rock to sleep.
This is the place where I have found my new passion. My new zest for life.
This is truly the job of my dreams.
And while I constantly find myself questioning whether I am doing a good enough job, (i.e. Am I disciplining too much? Too little? Am I providing enough stimuli for their growing minds? Do I read enough books? Provide enough socialization opportunities? Will the occasional Happy Meal destine my child to a life of diabetes and obesity?) I am also sure that at least for now, this is where I am meant to be.
Where I was always meant to be.