Today, my girl friend and I were discussing the influx of New Years resolutions, gym selfies, and tuna salad pics that have taken up residence in our newsfeeds this week. Seems that everyone and their dog is on the "new year, new you" bandwagon and apparently that equates to all of us losing ten or more pounds, voracious de-cluttering, and simultaneously spending more time with family.
(Because everyone knows that first depriving ourselves from coffee, carbs, and wine and then locking ourselves in a room with our families, whilst also running around like a little organizational Tasmanian devil, is a recipe for lifelong success! But I digress...)
Don't get me wrong. This is a totally judgment free zone. To each their own. In fact, I'd live in a glass house if I preached against this annual metamorphosis that we all attempt. I typically have a New Years resolution list a mile long...and most of them have fallen to the wayside long before my New Year's Eve hangover has even subsided.
But this year is different. Maybe it's a lack of willpower. Maybe I'm just a shitty goal setter. Maybe I'm totally overwhelmed by the prospect of changing anything but a diaper these days.
But Perhaps, it's the hard realization after 28 years on this earth, that a tidier home and a smaller dress size won't really make me that much happier in the end. (Just skinnier, hangrier, and more likely to have a meltdown because during to de-cluttering process I threw away something I hadn't used in 10 years and now desperately need.)
So instead of resolving to shed the last of my
This year, I want to become a kind person.
I know what you're thinking. "Stop the presses! Did this chick just actually admit that she's NOT a good person already? What does that even mean? Like 'steal candy from babies' kind of mean or 'end up on a dateline murder mystery' kind of mean? Should we be concerned? Oh. My. God. Am I a bad person for following her blog? Like guilty by association?"
Settle down. Don't get your panties in a wad just yet. I'm not a closet serial killer or anything. And I promise, I don't have a single fur coat in my closet made of Dalmatian puppies.
I mean...I don't recycle. If I clog a public toilet, I'm also way too embarrassed to report it to anyone and just leave the atrocious scene for the next poor, unsuspecting soul to find.
I ignore people's phone calls. I'm infamous for snapping at my husband when I'm stressed or hormonal. I lie to the kids and tell them that Chuck E. Cheese is only open for birthday parties and that I don't know what happened to all the good candy that was in their Halloween/Valentines/Christmas stash the night before. I don't visit my grandma enough. And I sometimes avert my eyes when I see homeless people and their homeless dogs.
By those standards, I'm kind of an asshole.
But, raging against my self-deprecating fashion, I'll admit to also being a loyal friend, a loving wife and mom, a caring sister and daughter.
I am a true paradox. Proof that these opposing traits can and do coexist in people. The yin to the yang and what not. But they can also get out of whack.
So, in short, this year, I'd like to find a better balance. Work on being kinder and more understanding, more often.
Myself, strangers, family, friends, fellow assholes, even in-laws. (I've heard there can be some overlap in those last two categories. Definitely not for me! Virtually Waves to mother in law following this blog. Nothing to see here.)
The good news is, there's no chance of failing this. There's no finish line, and If I find myself falling back into my typical asshattery, I won't dwell on it. I'll give myself some much needed grace and keep moving forward. I'll be kind, make amends if necessary, and simply try harder the next day.
No "random" acts of kindness here. Nor short-term, self-absorbed goals that I'd likely fall painfully short of.
Instead, a resolution to purposefully try to see the best in others and be the kindest version of myself that I can, all year round. This is the year I can make it count.
I challenge you to do the same. This year, instead of looking outward, look inward instead. Give it some serious thought, blaze your own trail. and make a resolution that will truly make you happier.
(And feel free to share your resolutions in the comments!)